PHOTO PROMPT © Jan Wayne Fields
The air was blue as he erected the tent. She poured him a drink and took the kids to the playground.
The pinched expressions on the boys’ faces evaporated as they enjoyed the freedom to be children.
“Time to go back,” she said eventually. Their faces clouded instantly.
“Dad’s having a snooze,” said the eldest, a note of relief in his voice, as he saw his father’s legs sticking out of the tent doorway.
She stretched her arms out wide, smiling as the tension left.
“I think Dad could be asleep for a while, let’s go and explore the beach.”
Word Count: 100
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 words story based on a photo prompt. Hosted by Rochelle. Read the other entries here.
Nice story. A long time ago, I could very well have been one of those boys. Thanks for the memories
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My pleasure! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
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There is an undercurrent of sadness in your story, well done.
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Thank you. I think happier times are ahead!
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Lovely story. “The air was blue” threw me a little. I was expecting swear-words
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Thanks Neil. ‘The air was blue’ was swearing. Dad could never erect the tent without it being a kerfuffle, but there wasn’t enough room to have the swear words in!
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I think the boys need not worry about whatever Dad does when he is not snoozing any longer..
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Thanks Dale. I don’t think he’s going to be waking up!
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Golly, I wish I could have been inside that story. I related to one of the kids. Always wanting to go exploring.
Sweet work, Clare. The title’s the cleverest I have seen so far, added points.
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Thanks very much. I was quite pleased with the title. I usually find the title the hardest thing!
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But they are fun to figure out, though. I think I have had one title elude me, maybe three for a story or so.
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I think Dad’s days of intimidation are over. I remember a few family holidays like this, sadly.
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Holidays are supposed to be happy family times, but for some they are anxious and stressful times sadly.
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Ahha! Clever title. She poured him the drink with intent, yes?
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Thanks Claire. Yes she poured him the drink with intent! I was worried I had cut too many words out for people to get the point of the drink!
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So she poured him a drink laced with … what? Hope she was smart enough to use something untraceable … Dark deeds in the woods indeed. Great tale and darkly told 🙂
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I really hope it is untraceable. She and the children deserve a little happiness!
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🙂
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In a way I hope she doesn’t get caught!
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Me too. Although murder is a bit extreme! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
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I wonder if he’s asleep or if she can extend her stay at the beach… still the father’s domineering was felt…
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I think it’s a bit more permanent than sleep! 🙂
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What was in the drink? Innocent childhood, but I’m not so sure either parent is innocent here. Great story, so much to ponder.
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Thanks Iain. No there is definitely a sinister side to each parent!
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Somehow I think Dad be a bad, bad man. I’m wondering the same thing as Iain. What was in that drink?
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Something untraceable hopefully or something that would be innocuous to most, but to which dad has a severe allergy!
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Oh, this is good! The title is expertly crafted and the story to follow mirrors it to perfection. Problem solved. Built in body bag. Well done.
Yours,
Doug
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Hi Doug. That’s a lovely comment to receive! Thank you so much.
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Dear Clare,
Love the title..and the story. I think the children will be free to be children. Hopefully she won’t get caught.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I’m hopeful for their future!
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Yeah, best not wake him. Take the chance to be free while you can. Maybe not come back…
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Thanks Draliman. Somehow, I don’t think Dad is going to wake up…ever!
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Uhm, and what, exactly, was in that drink? Me thinks his snooze might last quite a while….
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Thanks Trent. I don’t think the children or mother have much to worry about where dad is concerned any more!
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Loved the line about the air being blue and the children being allowed to be children. I’m not sure if the husband is permanently asleep or not.
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Yes, he’s permanently asleep. He won’t be causing them any more sorrow! Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Dad’s a goner, the drink’s done for him and they are free. Great title, Clare and subtly woven story
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Thanks for such a lovely comment! 🙂
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This struck a nerve with me. As a therapist, I work with survivors of domestic violence. This gave me a chill.
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Thank you. I think it is sometimes done so subtly, the outside world are completely unaware.
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Exactly. And the abuser is an expert at presenting a “normal” front.
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Fun dialogue
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Thanks 🙂
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Really realistic Clare.
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Thanks Louise 🙂
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Look, I found some Comfrey to put in dad’s drink. I was told it will help him with his insomnia . Whoops, it was foxglove… (this is a true story I read today, the lady was very sick but not dead). Your description of the tension with dad around is heartbreaking. Such a clever story, and the title is genius.
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Thanks for such a lovely comment Gabi 🙂
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Whatever was in the drink, I think the dad will be “sleeping” for a long, long time. Good writing, Clare. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Hehehehe
RIP dad
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Very well done , Clare and I ditto the previous comment complimenting your title.
I know what you mean about the word count keeping things down to brass tacks. I started fiddling around with making last week’s effort longer but have moved onto writing about my time in Paris, which is all-consuming at the moment.
I pictured the Dad being some tree trunk of a man.
It’s terrible when Dad being dead brings a sense of relief.
Hope you have a great week.
xx Rowena
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Very subtly done. Good job!
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